The Beginning of 2010: The Year That was a Bummer

January 2010 didn’t start off too well. On New Years Eve, I promised Bekki I wouldn’t go out with my cousin Winston to do anything.

I lied. My fault. My mistake.

We didn’t do anything wild. We just went out at around midnight after the Tennessee Volunteers/Virginia Tech Hokies Chick-Fil-A Bowl game ended. We went to Wal-Mart, a couple of gas stations to look for any new and interesting energy drinks and ate at Hardee’s on New Years Day at around 5 in the morning.

My family got worried about us because we hadn’t returned yet. My cousin Sarah contacted Bekki that morning and asked her if she knew where we were. That’s when shit hit the fan. When I finally checked my voicemail, Bekki left me a rant. My heart felt like it dropped to my intestines. I called Bekki back and patched things up with her, but I felt bad all day. I replayed her voicemail over and over and over and over again. What a horrible idea. I intentionally went out of my way to make myself feel as bad as possible. I couldn’t stand upsetting her. She was just worried about me, that’s all, but again, I felt awful. I’ll never forget how disappointed, worried, angry and sad she sounded in that voicemail, especially at the end of it when she said, “Thanks a lot…” in a despondent tone.

Not a good omen of things to come for the year 2010, huh?

Not only did January 2010 not start off well, but it wasn’t a good month in general. Bekki and I were talking even less than before, since her dad was coming home early from work and we weren’t talking when she got home from school. I missed her so damn much and would get excruciatingly excited when she called.

In the middle of said January 2010, after one of those bad days I’ve already written about, she called and told me, “Sorry” about going off on me over my past and that, from that point forward she would be the “best girlfriend in the world” (her words). Looking back, I sincerely believe she thought that day was National Opposite Day since from that point forward she destroyed me.


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