Here’s my depiction of a healthy relationship:
He might have issues, but he becomes increasingly aware of them and fixes them.
She might have issues, but she becomes increasingly aware of them and fixes them.
He doesn’t blame her for his issues, and he doesn’t expect her to fix things when he makes a mess. She doesnt blame him for her issues, and she doesnt expect him to fix things when she makes a mess.
He has a centered life and takes care of his fulfillment.
She has a centered life and takes care of her fulfillment.
He loves her. Almost unconditionally.
She loves him. Almost unconditionally.
He knows his strengths and weaknesses. He uses his strength to compensate for her weakness, and asks for help when he’s weak.
She knows her strengths and weakness. She uses her strength to compensate for his weakness, and asks for help when she’s weak.
He doesn’t abuse the terms of the relationship.
She doesn’t abuse the terms of the relationship.
His boundaries are healthy.
Her boundaries are healthy.
They share together more than they live on their own.
Their time together is mostly happy.
He supports her mission in life and is an indispensable part of it.
She supports his mission in life and is an indispensable part of it.
When everything else fails and life stinks, he has her. It brightens the world.
When everything else fails and life stinks, she has him. It brightens the world.
In poverty. In richness. In the bad. In the good. In the ups and downs.
When he loses his focus and wanders, she nurtures him so he can find himself again.
When she loses her focus and wanders, he supports her so she can find herself again.
He doesn’t doubt her.
She doesn’t doubt him.
He doesn’t lie to her, ever.
She doesn’t lie to him, ever.
He can get loose and relaxed around her in total trust.
She can get loose and relaxed around him in total trust.
He would jump on the fire to save her.
She would jump on the fire to save him.
Both would rather die than let the other burn, even if they could escape on their own.
If he fails and she succeeds, she stays with him.
If she fails and he succeeds, he stays with her.
What they share is bigger than each one apart.
They offer each other their true reflection. And with a look, they both are illuminated.
So, I have never seen this, except once. A relationship, the first year (September 2008 — October 2009) everything above clicked, but that was temporary as she changed/regressed. I don’t see people striving for it/this. The only “proof” I have that this is even possible is my inner desire for it and my past one year experience with it.