When I think about the way she (Bekki) was and the way she used to be, and compare that version of her (2008-2009) to who and how she’s been since (2010-present), it’s heartbreaking. Especially when I think about how she fucked me over without remorse.
That’s the thing that’s been hindering me from moving on. You can’t force someone to feel remorseful, but when someone you love, someone that loved you back, hurts you and moves on as if your relationship never happened and she never did anything wrong, and only validates her actions by saying, “I’m sorry, I was immature, have a nice life”, it can cause you to feel like crumbling.
Sometimes, I say to myself in a very harsh and critical manner, “Any man can do better than a molecular structured slut, no matter how sweet she seemed. She lied and cheated on you; of course you can do better than that. You deserve better!” Sometimes, that works, sometimes it makes me feel even worse because she wasn’t like that (this?) in 2008-2009.