Resolving Junk

There’s plenty of junk in my life. Some people have junk in the trunk, of the — uh — vehicles they own or their derrieres, but my junk resides in my head in a hamster wheel-esque perpetual cycle.

I’ve found that a clean, tidy and organized bedroom can help alleviate the junk in my mind. See, I spend most of my time in my bedroom. I’ve got my computer, television (just for sports, occasional gaming and shows like Dexter (ended), Ray Donovan (season one has ended) and Breaking Bad (series will end tonight), bookshelf, fragrances, DVDs and free weights (dumbbells). This is my main domain.

The act of vacuuming, dusting and regular cleaning off the surfaces of my dresser, desk, bookshelf and other miscellaneous things is therapeutic. As a man and unfortunate perfectionist that is in the near OCD echelons when it comes to cleanliness, getting rid of useless junk that’s in the way and cleaning is a bit of a success, provides enjoyment and allows me to pat myself on the back, either forgetting about the junk that’s in the perpetual cycle in my mind or resolving it for a little while with this self-aware success.

Anything can be considered junk: depression, bad friends, parasite-like people in your life, physical things laying around in your house that you don’t need or use. That’s undoubtedly junk!

This post was prompted by today’s WordPress Daily Post.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Walk more! | Inside My Glitching Mind
  2. Zenit-8 camera | Inside My Glitching Mind
  3. Never accidentally marry a gay man – Part 5: The Serious One | How to be good at everything
  4. Watching a Robot Confess | Daily Prompt: Clean House | likereadingontrains
  5. Make your lady happy |
  6. Party Time! |
  7. Why Do We Keep Stuff? | Spirit Lights The Way
  8. The Junk Drawer | retiredruth – Life in the 50’s and beyond
  9. ••Coddled by Thee•• | mët•aRVhëë•n✪ia
  10. Daily Prompt: Clean House « Mama Bear Musings
  11. Growth Factor | Getting Rid of Junk
  12. “Clutter” Daily Prompt | Finicky Philly
  13. Clean the junk out of your life | Interviews That Matter
  14. All That Junk | Sam’s Online Journal
  15. Daily Prompt: Clean House | Life as a country bumpkin…not a city girl
  16. Daily Prompt: Clean House or Cluttered House ? | littlegirlstory
  17. How To Get Rid Of Junk | The Jittery Goat
  18. The Conundrum | Where’s Your Moral Sieve?
  19. Look what I found hiding in the study! | We Live In A Flat
  20. Daily Prompt: Clean House 29|9 | Family, Photos, Food & Craft
  21. Daily Prompt: Clean House « Vicariously Poetic
  22. Clutter, Junk & Treasures | Tony’s Texts
  23. Getting Rid of Masher | scribbleglitch
  24. S. Thomas Summers | Daily Prompt: Clean House (Autumn Arrives)
  25. Duncan the Sushi Roll #15 | Neva Samaki
  26. Daily Prompt: Junk | Chronicles of a Public Transit User
  27. Not a true story. | JC Bride ~
  28. Daily Prompt – Clean House | Purplesus’ Blog
  29. Daily Prompt: Clean House | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  30. Daily Prompt: Clean House | reyoflight
  31. Accumulating Junk | Flowers and Breezes
  32. Resolving Junk | Sogna Grandezza
  33. Space Junk | Just Visiting This Planet
  34. “Clean House” | Relax
  35. Daily Prompt: Clean House | bloobloons
  36. A junkie’s mind. | Crossroads
  37. Desk Jockey junk… | notsinglebutnothappy
  38. Life moves on | crookedeyebrows
  39. Daily Prompt: Clean House | BulgingButtons
  40. Put on hold. | Hunted2Hunter
  42. Out of sight, out of mind | Grandma Drives Me Crazy
  43. Junk | On the Trail of a Gypsy
  44. The Secret Room | Barefoot on Rainy Days
  45. Cleaning up the “Junk”…..or atleast trying! | Life Confusions
  46. Intangible pieces of junk | Madhura’s Musings
  47. DP: Junk | As I See It
  48. Clean House | The Nameless One
  49. Downsizing, Simplifying and Letting Go | Cheri Speak
  50. Daily Prompt: Clean House | Venom’s Blog
  51. Trash or Treasure? | CurTales
  52. The Perils of Intensity | BLUE BEAD PUBLICATIONS
  53. What rubbish! | A mom’s blog
  54. Waste Not, Waist Not. Letting go of eating hang-ups for healthy living | Hotel Goddess
  55. Is There Junk in Your Life?….(wp daily prompt) | Daily Observations
  56. Junk Around the House | Half Baked Log
  57. Cleaning out my closet | suhaaandiaries
  58. Hoarding and dejunking | alienorajt
  59. Daily Prompt: JUNK | Dean’z Doodlez
  60. Enter at your own Risk | A Day in the Life
  61. Other people’s junk | Muddy River Muse
  62. Junk is in the eye of the beholder | mostlytrueramblings
  63. One Starving Activist
  64. When words are not enough | vicbriggs’s Blog
  65. The Great Giveaway… | The Seminary of Praying Mantis
  66. Junk! | Multifarious meanderings
  67. Junk? Sure do and so do you if you open your eyes. « RPMAS
  68. My life has a lot of literal junk | djgarcia94
  69. Daily Prompt: Clean House | Life and the Things that Compel Its Attention
  70. Clutter | tinypurpleme
  71. Daily Prompt: Clean House | My Atheist Blog
  72. Daily Prompt: Clean House | Overcoming Bloglessness
  73. The Unlearned Art of Alienation | Expressions
  74. Friends | Crow Arrow, Inc.
  75. Daily Post: Beach Clean Up | Light Words
  76. Desperate | Life is great
  77. got junk? | sarahscapes

Thunder Before the Storm (Relationships)

Remember when I wrote about Bekki up and leaving out of nowhere in December 2010?

There were signs. Plenty of them. There are always signs. Of course, she came back eight months later in 2011 and made things even more complicated, but I remember…

— She distanced herself from me as early as late October/November 2009 when she lied to her friends by telling them we were no longer in a relationship and lied to me about telling them that.
— In 2010, we were physically together less and talked on the phone less.
— She became apathetic about knowing how my days went. No longer asking, “How are you?” or inquiring by saying “tell me about your day!”
— We began only seeing each other once a week.

I still miss the way she was in 2008-2009. I’ll always be in love with that beautiful human being from those two years. Not who/what she is now.

Miss you.

Moving on with perseverance because it’s the only choice for future happiness.

Three Year Foreshadowing?

Change and growth. Hopefully positive change and growth.

The year 2017 will be approaching and I’ll be 25 going into that year. A quarter of 100. Hopefully, by then, not wallowing in self-pity over a relationship that took the wrong turn or a girl that did me wrong, but reveling in my own independent success and happiness in life on an individual level, and perhaps in a relationship with someone that complements/supplements my life rather than making them my singular world.

The blog itself, hopefully kicking strong, alive and well with a few thousand posts by then, with a regular readership and friends having been made. As an addendum to the above paragraph, more content created that’s on the positive (and creative) up and at ’em side and not so cynical or bitter.

And hopefully the St. Louis Rams will be worth a damn by then (doubt it).

This post was prompted by today’s WordPress Daily Post.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Life | The Magic Black Book
  2. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow 28|9 | Family, Photos, Food & Craft
  3. Ebb and Flow | Kate Murray
  4. So little time. | Crossroads
  5. Shit and Life Happens | Lost in Adeline’s
  6. Life | Mara Eastern’s Personal Blog
  7. Beachcombing | The Ambitious Drifter
  8. “Ebb and Flow” | Relax
  9. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow | Chicomallorca’s Blog
  10. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow: Ramblings
  11. Life. Saturated. | We Live In A Flat
  12. A Daily Prompt Poem: Life « Vicariously Poetic
  13. 2016 – The Way We Is | The Jittery Goat
  14. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow | A Mixed Bag
  15. I’m afraid of the future | Phelio a Random Post a Day
  16. Barely Right of Center
  17. Bella natura | Neva Samaki
  18. Proceed with caution, Future Ahead! | Life Confusions
  19. Summer is Over | A New Day
  20. Three Year Foreshadowing? | Sogna Grandezza
  21. September 28, 2016 | JC Bride ~
  22. The looming extinction event | Rob’s Surf Report
  23. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow | lifebeinggirly
  24. In the Year 2525 . . . Or, How About 2016 | meanderedwanderings
  25. Oh how time has flown by… | It’s a Fine Line
  26. Oh well.. | The Otter in my Jotter
  27. Fast Forward >> 3 years later | Wanny’s Blog
  28. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow #amwriting | Of Glass & Paper
  29. Daily Prompt: September 28, 2016 | Not The Sword But The Pen
  30. Dear Daily Prompt: My Blog 3 years in the future. « RPMAS
  31. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  32. Learning In Life Goes On | Flowers and Breezes
  33. Twenty-seven year bore | shame
  34. Why was I so afraid? | alienorajt
  35. Daily Prompt:Ebb and Flow:The Spirit of a Bookworm | Musings…
  36. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow | My Atheist Blog
  37. The sun still rises, but no electric Shakespeare yet. | Hippie Cahier
  38. Sober Head Full of Confusion | Here’s My Heart & Here’s My Mouth
  39. Time After Time | cagedbutterfly1
  40. Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow | Travel blog | reyoflight
  41. Deciduous | Sue’s Trifles
  42. Guest Blogger: Nylablue! | Haiku By Ku

The Enthralling Passing of Time

“Anticipation is better than the realization”. I have no idea who first said that quote, but I’m posting it and accrediting it to anonymous.

The daily prompt states, “when you are giddy with excitement, does time speed up?”

Hardly. If I’m waiting for something, the virtue otherwise known as ‘patience’ comes into play and must be exercised. If I’m in the moment of having a good time, 9 a.m. quickly becomes 5 in the evening. The before and during: an extreme discrepancy in differences.

Anticipating can be excruciating, but it depends on what kind of anticipation — positive and negative. Positive anticipation? The Xbox One will be released on November 22nd. I’ve had it preordered since July 6th. Can’t wait. An example of positive anticipation for a material object that’s an electronic device. Negative anticipation? Going to the dentist or preparing yourself to watch a St. Louis Rams football game. What kind of masochist wants to do either of the fun activities?

The post was prompted by the WordPress Daily Post.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Quintet | Inside My Glitching Mind
  2. Walk more! |
  3. Following Lenin Precepts | Inside My Glitching Mind
  4. Spinning dust | shame
  5. The Bend In Time | Cofundrum
  6. A bend in time | Geek Ergo Sum
  7. A bend in time | Travelandfoodworldwide
  8. 10 Things I’m Still Waiting For | Just Visiting This Planet
  9. The Art of Waiting | A Teacher’s Blog from Land’s End
  10. The Enthralling Passing of Time | Sogna Grandezza
  11. Its the wait. | gypsy thoughts ..
  12. Waiting… It’s a Dog’s Life! | It’s a wonderful F’N life
  13. Daily Prompt: Waiting – Quick Eyes and Finger | Eikons
  14. 184. Anticipation | Barely Right of Center
  15. I wait for you | Vampire Maman
  16. ✽Anticipation is a Gift✽ | mët•aRVhëë•n✪ia
  17. Waiting… | The Rider
  18. Excited kitty | Never Stationary
  19. Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time | Chicomallorca’s Blog
  20. Speak Through Your Heart and Your Mind Will Follow
  21. This Moment – Waiting For Ivy « Behind the Willows
  22. Until Then [Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time] | unknowinglee
  23. Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time | Life as a country bumpkin…not a city girl
  24. “Waiting” | Relax
  25. Does Pie And Milk Speed-Up Time? How I Got There In A Flash (short fiction) | The Jittery Goat
  26. Waiting | Mara Eastern’s Personal Blog
  27. Wait | Conversations
  28. Staying in Focus: Daily Prompt: Anticipation | Staying in Focus
  29. Pain Of Anticipation | Life Confusions
  30. Giddy with excitement? Giddy? Really? Giddy? « RPMAS
  31. Daily Prompt : Waiting | Chronicles of a Public Transit User
  32. One way of unbending time | I Didn’t Just Wake Up This Morning with a Craving
  33. Waiting from afar | Now Have At It!
  34. WAITING | Kansa Muse on Micro Farming and More
  35. A Second Chance….(wp daily prompt) | Daily Observations
  36. Pain Of Anticipation | My Blog free thoughts
  37. Shiver With … | Tony’s Texts
  38. Time Will Return to Normal: Daily Prompt – September 27, 2013 | it writes itself
  39. Waiting Is Hard | Flowers and Breezes
  40. Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  41. A waiter’s perception of time: | Rob’s Surf Report
  42. Giddy with Excitement – Daily Prompt | The Mercenary Researcher
  43. A bend in time | Shelley Wilson
  44. For the record | The verbal hedge
  45. We all know the story | JC Bride ~
  46. Affecting the Passage of Time | Nerdy Woman
  47. Waiting For Mama… | Haiku By Ku
  48. Who is the boss | crookedeyebrows
  49. Bride of Christ | Prayers and Promises
  50. Relaxing in a hurry | Le Drake Noir
  51. Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time | iChristian
  52. I Will Wait For You | Here’s My Heart & Here’s My Mouth
  53. This bloody waiting game is exhausting my patience! | Hunted2Hunter
  54. Passing time… | cagedbutterfly1
  55. Anticipation…And The Night They Shot J.R. | The Political and Social Chaos Blog
  56. Words. | Crossroads
  57. Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time | lifebeinggirly
  58. Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time | My Atheist Blog
  59. She Watches and Waits… | An Upturned Soul
  60. Anticipation | Real Life Co.
  61. Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time Saves Nine | SERENDIPITY
  62. A Bend In Time | Random Thoughts Of A Mad Music Fan
  63. To You. | Finicky Philly
  64. A Bend in Time | The Nameless One
  65. Waiting | Northwest Frame of Mind
  66. My.Vivid.Visions | Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time – For Photography and Weekly Challenge
  67. My Perception of Time | djgarcia94
  68. Antici…pation! | A Day in the Life
  69. Before the Train Comes | Barefoot on Rainy Days
  70. ◕The Waiting Station◕ | The RunningFather Blog
  71. Daily Prompt: Anticipation | Winding Road
  72. Juliette, Juliette, Wherefore Art Thou Juliette – Daily Prompt: Waiting,  Ese’s Weekly Shoot & Quote Challenge: Desire, and Feathers on Friday | Babsje Heron
  73. Speed up, slow down | Neva Samaki
  74. Rain rain come again | The Otter in my Jotter
  75. Waiting for disaster | All work and quite a lot of play

Temptation is a Momentum Killer

I’m 25 days into my cut and I’ve already fucked up a good bit of it. On a couple of days I’ve splurged. Reason being, chips and pizza have remained on the counter in the kitchen. Obviously chips more-so than pizza, but on 3-4 nights for the past couple of weeks a select person has brought pizza over and had it out in plain view.

A hand-tossed pizza featuring red onions, green & jalapeno peppers, pepperoni, pork sausage and ham all perched upon a thick layer of cheese? Sorry, but leave that out in front of me, and I’m devouring it.

But apparently I’ve lost 2 pounds. Could be water weight. I’m already in pretty decent shape as is, but I’m flabby as all hell, on the chest, gut and love handles, the worst place for a man to store fat considering those are estrogen-dominant areas and, obviously, no man wants that (or should want it).

Temptation is a momentum killer. I’ve gotten back on the wagon since this past weekend, but it’s been annoyingly tough. You gotta remove the temptation in front of you. No need for the pseudo-motivational talks about pushing past the temptation, mind over matter, etc. because that only works in the short-term. Gotta remove the excessive bullshit to chase the ultimate prize/realize the dream.

How to Let Go of a Past Relationship: 10 Steps to Move On Peacefully

I’m sharing a post from Tiny Buddha. I’ve had it bookmarked on Google Chrome bookmark toolbar since last March. I need to read it more often. I have to share it this way because there’s no option on the article page to share via WordPress. All credit goes to the awesome author that is Lori Deschene.

This is a great article/post and it applies to both genders, no question. All people struggling to let go of the past and move on (like yours truly) can benefit from reading this. I promise. Without further ado:

“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Nine years ago my heart was in a million little pieces that formed the basis for a million regrets.

I had my first serious relationship in college, when all my insecurities came to a head. My ex-boyfriend had to juggle multiple roles, from therapist to cheerleader to babysitter.

The whole relationship revolved around holding me up. I realized this soon after it ended—that I spent three years expecting someone else to love me when I didn’t love myself. The guilt and shame kept me single for almost a decade.

I dated, but it was always casual. I’d start getting close to someone and then find a way to sabotage it.

Long after I let go of the man, feelings about the relationship held me back. I was afraid of being vulnerable. I was afraid of being hurt. But mostly I was afraid of hurting someone else again and having to live with that.

If you’ve been holding onto an old relationship, now is the perfect time to let go. Here’s how you can start moving on:

1. Practice releasing regrets.

When a relationship ends, it’s tempting to dwell on what you did wrong or what you could have done differently. This might seem productive—like you can somehow change things by rehashing it. You can’t.

All dwelling does is cause you to suffer. When you start revisiting the past in your head, pull yourself into the moment. Focus on the good things in your current situation: the friends who are there for you and the lessons you’ve learned that will help you with future relationships.

It might help to tell your friends to only let you vent for 10 minutes at a time. That way you’re free to express your feelings, but not drown in them.

2. Work on forgiving yourself.

You might think you made the biggest mistake of your life, and if only you didn’t do it you wouldn’t be in pain right now. Don’t go down that road—there’s nothing good down there!

Instead, keep reminding yourself that you are human. You’re entitled to make mistakes; everyone does. And you will learn from them and use those lessons to improve your life.

Also, keep in mind: if you want to feel love again in the future, the first step is to prepare yourself to give and receive it. You can only do that if you feel love toward yourself; and that means forgiving yourself.

3. Don’t think about any time as lost.

If I looked at that unhealthy relationship or the following decade as time lost, I’d underestimate all the amazing things I did in that time. True, I was single throughout my 20s, but that made it easier to travel and devote myself to different passions.

If you’ve been clinging to the past for a while and now feel you’ve missed out, shift the focus to everything you’ve gained. Maybe you’ve built great friendships or made great progress in your career.

When you focus on the positive, it’s easier to move on because you’ll feel empowered and not victimized (by your ex, by yourself, or by time.) Whatever happened in the past, it prepared you for now—and now is full of opportunities for growth, peace, and happiness.

4. Remember the bad as well as the good.

Brain scientists suggest nearly 20 percent of us suffer from “complicated grief”—a persistent sense of longing for someone we lost with romanticized memories of the relationship. Scientists also suggest this is a biological occurrence; that the longing can have an addictive quality to it, actually rooted in our brain chemistry.

As a result, we tend to remember everything with reverie, as if it was all sunshine and roses. If your ex broke up with you, it may be even more tempting to imagine she or he was perfect and you weren’t.  In all reality, you both have strengths and weaknesses and you both made mistakes.

Remember them now. As I mentioned in the post 40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain, it’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.

5. Reconnect with who you are outside a relationship.

Unless you hop from relationship to relationship, odds are you lived a fulfilling single life before you got into this one. You were strong, satisfied and happy—at least on the whole.

Remember that person now. Reconnect with any people or interests that may have received less attention while you were attached.

The strong, happy, passionate person you were attracted your ex. That person will get you through this loss and attract someone equally amazing in the future when the time is right. Not a sad, depressed, guilt-ridden person clutching to what once was. If you can’t remember who you are, get to know yourself now. What do you love about life?

6. Create separation.

Hope can be a terrible thing if it keeps you stuck in the past. It’s not easy to end all contact when you feel attached to someone. Breaking off the friendship might feel like ruining your chances at knowing love again.

It’s helped me to change my hopes to broader terms. So instead of wanting a specific person to re-enter your life, want love and happiness—whatever that may look like.

You will know love again. You won’t spend the rest of your life alone. In one way or another, you will meet all kinds of people and create all kinds of possibilities for relationships—if you forgive yourself, let go, and open yourself up, that is.

7. Let yourself feel.

Losing a relationship can feel like a mini-death, complete with a grieving process.

First you’re shocked and in denial. You don’t believe it’s over and you hold out hope. Next you feel hurt and guilty. You should have done things differently. If you did you wouldn’t be in this pain.

Then you feel angry and maybe even start bargaining. It would be different if you gave it a second go. You wouldn’t be so insecure, defensive, or demanding.  Then you might feel depressed and lonely as it hits you how much you’ve lost.

Eventually you start accepting what happened and shift your focus from the past to the future.

You have to go through the feelings as they come, but you can help yourself get through them faster. For example, if you’re dwelling in guilt, make forgiving yourself a daily practice. Read books on it, meditate about it or write about it in a journal.

8. Remember the benefits of moving on.

When you let go, you give yourself peace.

Everything about holding on is torturous. You regret, you feel ashamed and guilty, you rehash, you obsess—it’s all an exercise in suffering. The only way to feel peace is to quiet the thoughts that threaten it.

Letting go opens you up to new possibilities.

When you’re holding onto something, you’re less open to giving and receiving anything else.

If you had your arms wrapped around a huge bucket of water, you wouldn’t be able to give anything other than that bucket, or grab anything else that came your way. You might even struggle breathing because you’re clutching something so all-encompassing with so much effort.

You have to give to receive. Give love to get love, share joy to feel joy. It’s only possible if you’re open and receptive.

9. Recognize and replace fearful thoughts.

When you’re holding onto a relationship, it’s usually more about attachment than love. Love wants for the other person’s happiness. Fear wants to hold onto whatever appears to make you happy so you don’t have to feel the alternative.

You might not recognize these types of fearful thoughts because they become habitual. Some examples include: I’ll never feel loved again. I’ll always feel lonely. I am completely powerless. Replace those thoughts with: All pain passes eventually. It will be easier if I help them pass by being mindful. I can’t always control what happens to me, but I can control how I respond to it.

10. Embrace impermanence.

Nothing in life lasts forever. Every experience and relationship eventually runs its course.

The best way to embrace impermanence is to translate it into action. Treat each day as a life unto itself. Appreciate the people in front of you as if it were their last day on earth. Find little things to gain in every moment instead of dwelling on what you lost.

When I feel like clinging to experiences and people, I remind myself the unknown can be a curse or an adventure. It’s up to me whether or not I’m strong and positive enough to see it as the latter.

It took me eight years to work through my feelings about relationships and letting go; but I am happy to report I am 15 months into a healthy relationship, standing firmly on my own two feet. In fact, last night he flew from California to Boston, where I’ve been visiting for the last two weeks, to spend time with me and my family.

I don’t regret the time when I was single, but I know now I could have hurt less and created even more possibilities for myself if I put more effort into completely letting go. I hope you’ll make that choice.